Writing – Thesis and Contextualization Part 2
STUDENT MATERIALSSTUDENT MATERIALSS-1WORLD HISTORY PROJECT AP / LESSON 5.6 ACTIVITYWRITING—THESIS AND CONTEXTUALIZATION PART 2Preparation• Download the WHP DBQ RubricPurposeThis writing activity brings you back to the first two rows of the WHP DBQ Writing Rubric: Thesis and Contextualization. (Note: these rows are identical on the DBQ and LEQ rubrics.) You will progress from analyzing an essay for its major claim and contextualization, to identifying and revising these elements in a student-written essay. The move from analysis to application will help you advance your claim-making skills so that you can generate your own well-crafted thesis statements couched in the appropriate historical context. This is an important skill to practice, both for the advancement of your writing, as well as in preparation for the AP® World History: Modern exam. ProcessIt’s another writing activity! Even though you’ve done it before, you are once again going to take a look at claim and contextualization in a student essay. However, this time you’ll have a not-so-great essay to improve upon. This essay was written in response to the AP Unit 3 DBQ: Evaluate the extent to which governments reacted similarly to increased foreign trade during the period c. 1450 to 1750 CE.As a class, review what makes for a strong claim. Remember, a high-quality thesis is one that is both specific and historically defensible and responds to the prompt and establishes a line of reasoning. It is usually introduced early in the essay to help structure the argument. For an essay to receive high marks for contextualization, the author must describe a broader historical context, one that is relevant to the prompt. Take out the Writing – Thesis and Contextualization Part 2 worksheet and follow the directions on the worksheet.First, locate the major claim/thesis statement in the essay, and then revise the major claim. Next, look for contextualization in the essay, and then revise at least two sentences where the contextualization could be improved. It’s important for you to follow the order of these instructions, since it will be difficult for you to improve the use of contextualization without a clear and convincing major claim to connect to. Note that improving contextualization might mean adding more context and not just revising what is there. Be prepared to share your revisions with the class.
Name:Date:Name:Date:STUDENT MATERIALSS-2WORLD HISTORY PROJECT AP / LESSON 5.6 ACTIVITYWRITING—THESIS AND CONTEXTUALIZATION PART 2Directions: After reading the essay, follow the steps below.1. Circle the major claim/thesis statement in the essay. 2. Revise the major claim and write your revision in the space below. 3. Underline portions of the essay where the student provided contextualization.4. Pick two areas to revise for contextualization. Put a star () next to the text you will revise. Then, write your revisions in the spaces below. Essay prompt: Evaluate the extent to which governments reacted similarly to increased foreign trade during the period c. 1450 to 1750 CE.From mid-fifteenth century until well into the eighteenth century, there was a substantial increase in trade throughout most regions of the world. However, networks of trade and exchange were certainly not new, as trade had existed in the earliest societies including those of antiquity. These networks, for the most part, thickened over time as imperial governments realized that they could generate wealth from the taxation of trade. In addition, empires learned from those with which they traded, and in many cases, used this knowledge to their advantage to conquer neighboring regions. Imperial conquest expanded globally during and after the Columbian Exchange. This increase in trading brought unimaginable amounts of wealth and resources to societies, in particular those located in Afro-Eurasia. Trade not only spread material goods, but ideas and values as well. However, even though trade generated wealth for most societies in Afro-Eurasia at this time, some governments discouraged its subjects from participating in foreign exchanges. Yet, there were some governments that were strong supporters of increasing trade and in many cases attempting to use force to monopolize trade, but there were often those who were reluctant to open up their nations to foreign influence. Some governments strongly supported trade because it provided their nations with increased revenue. For example, in a report to his superiors in the British East India Company, an English merchant tells them of Virji Vora, a merchant who uses his authority to influence others to refrain from trading with the English so he can trade with them at low prices. At the end of his report, the Englishman says Vora is aware that the English have debts and that they will sell at the prices Vora wants (Document 4). The British merchants knew that they had to keep Virji Vora happy if they were to sell any of their trade goods in Mughal-controlled India. In fact, they were willing to accept a much smaller sum for their goods because they were desperate to maintain their position in India and prevent even more debt from accruing. The precarious position of the British East India Company in India at this time would eventually lead to its failure in India but not before the British crown stepped in to take control of the trade and ultimately India itself. The British were also competing with the Dutch for entry into and control over the trade in India. Perhaps the most forceful reasoning given for governments to engage in and
Name:Date:Name:Date:STUDENT MATERIALSS-3WORLD HISTORY PROJECT AP / LESSON 5.6 ACTIVITYWRITING—THESIS AND CONTEXTUALIZATION PART 2support trade came from Jan Pieterszoon Coen, director-general of the Dutch East India Company, who wrote to the board of directors about the best way to continue trading in India. Coen writes about the need for the company to protect trade with force so that the company can then benefit from the trade (Document 1). The purpose and goal of Coen’s statements are clear: the Dutch government and its military must intervene if the Dutch are to hold onto their trade monopoly in this region of India. In addition to Britain, Portugal also utilized trade to generate profits for the government. A sixteenth-century Portuguese nobleman expresses his concerns to the Portuguese king in allowing the Ottomans trade access (Document 5). Here, both the government and nobleman are focused on profit, relying on successful trades to bring in revenue. Many countries at this time were unable to rely solely on taxes, as taxing often burdened citizens, leaving them poor and resentful of their governments. In turn, many governments heavily supported trade to increase their wealth. In addition, by controlling trade in certain regions, these governments increased their own power both at home and abroad in the creation of networks and at times through the expansion of their empires. Power and the expansion of empires was not only a concern of European governments but also those of Persia. For instance, in an excerpt from Jean Chardin’s travels in Persia, the French traveler notes to his seventeenth-century European readers that merchants are highly respected in Persia (Document 7). Although money is still an obvious incentive, governments such as that of Safavid Persia encouraged and honored merchants because they established connections throughout the world. Chardin, therefore, presumably writes to encourage such trade in his native France (Document 7). These connections gave the Safavids power and would allow their empire to become wealthy. At this point in time, France was behind other European powers with regard to intercontinental trade. As shown in the graph from Our World in Data, France’s portion of intercontinental trade lagged far behind that of Spain, England and Wales, Holland, and Portugal (Document 6). If France were to heed the examples of the Persians and other European governments and engage in extensive trade then the French government and merchants would benefit with increased wealth derived from this trade. Other governments, however, were less interested in engaging in foreign trade at this time. Specifically, a Chinese official wrote that when the Mongols came to pay tribute to them so the two groups could trade peacefully, Chinese officials misunderstood and literally executed the messengers (Document 2). Although the officials’ intent was not to stop trading, some governments at this time seemed to be too wary of others to engage in trade with those outside the empire. China traditionally looked down upon merchants, in particular those who engaged in foreign trade, preferring instead to elevate farmers and artisans. Thus, the Ming, did not support trade as openly
Name:Date:Name:Date:STUDENT MATERIALSS-4WORLD HISTORY PROJECT AP / LESSON 5.6 ACTIVITYWRITING—THESIS AND CONTEXTUALIZATION PART 2as others might. The wariness of the Ming officials was, however, warranted given that the Mongols were a formidable, if “barbarian”, force outside their borders. Furthermore, in “The Edict of 1635 Ordering the Closing of Japan”, the Tokugawa shogunate banned its subjects from leaving for foreign nations, trading cities could not purchase all the merchandise brought from other countries, and foreign ships could not stay for very long. The punishment for breaking many of this edict’s rules was often death (Document 3). While Japan didn’t directly ban foreign trading, they certainly did not encourage or support it. The shogunate, therefore, was cautious about engaging in unregulated foreign trade for fear of opening their nation up to foreign influence and possible war. This ultimately put them in a bubble that would not fully open for a few hundred years. While many nations such as England, the Netherlands, and Persia eagerly participated in trade, others like China and Japan held back and discouraged it. Those nations whose governments supported extensive networks of exchange during this period benefitted greatly from an increase in both revenue and power. Both China and Japan would be forced to open their nations to European traders in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries. The increased wealth from extensive trade would allow European governments to shift the balance of trade with Asia in the centuries that followed.
Name:Date:Name:Date:STUDENT MATERIALSS-5WORLD HISTORY PROJECT AP / LESSON 5.6 ACTIVITYWRITING—THESIS AND CONTEXTUALIZATION PART 21. Thesis Revision: 2. Contextualization Revision #1: 3. Contextualization Revision #2: